Waluigi's Itchy Butt: The Movie
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: WAH! It's-a Wario the TableMan! Here's a grand story about my lanky brother Waluigi. Today he's got a little bit of a prob, so let's help him out, k? TURN OFF DA CELLS! THANKS!


Waluigi's Itchy Butt: The Movie

Once upon a cheesy-lookin' time, Waluigi was hanging out with his bros Wario and Eggy. Waluigi was so bored with the two because they were so fat and did fat guy stuff. So instead at five o' clock midnight, Lil Wah went out to buy the most awesome salted pretzels you've ever done seen. He ate them and liked them and enjoyed his Wah status. He then ran home and went to bed.

The next day, Wah woke up and picked his nose. His wiped them sweet boogies on his pet cat Mr. Wah-skers and ran to the cereal room. He poured a bowl of Lucky Charms because he was the hottest Wah ever. He ate them and then thought to himself that he should use the toilet. But he was so lazy and didn't want to go. Instead he wore a righteous diaper so he could go wherever he wanted to.

Waluigi felt proud of his brain for telling him how to stop using toilets and whatnot. Waluigi then ran to the grocery store to buy carrots to stuff up his brothers' noses. It was Saturday and it was imperative to do such a thing to continue the earth's rotation. He bolted to the market via flying saucer he stole from the aliens from Chicken Little. He then went inside and flaunted his hot diaper like a pro. Everyone in the store fell in love with his hotcakey goodness. Waluigi was definitely looking his KFC in the eyes today!

When he got to the aisle that had the carrots, he lost his coupon book. It was stolen by a bad Yoshi named Gangsta Yosh. Waluigi shot his potato gun at the crook and retrieved the magic coupon book. Then Waluigi felt strange and slightly itchy.

"HOLY WAH!" screamed Waluigi in tremendous pain. "I have an itchy in between my cheeses and it is most unpleasant!" He was about to give the unwelcoming sensation a petite scratch when he remembered he was in public. Surely walking into a market with a diaper was appropriate as was purchasing a product to stuff up your brothers' noses. Even beating up a thuggish dinosaur was completely acceptable by Waluigi's standards. However, itching yourself in public was out of the question! He couldn't. He musn't!

Waluigi cried sad tears of sadness as he ran through the market wailing about his itchy bumbum. He didn't dare scratch for fear of someone seeing him. He then came to the backscratcher aisle and cried because he saw Bowser buying all of the backscratchers and one tube of toothpaste. Waluigi was in such a pickle.

Bowser breathed fire and burnt down the grocery store because he accidentally ate a jalapeno. He then hopped in his clown car and zoomed away like a mature adult with eight kids. Bowser later won the Noble Peace Prize for his accomplishment.

Waluigi was seen crying by the supermarket police squad and they took him to jail. Waluigi was in jail because they thought he destroyed the grocery store with his lethally hot attractiveness. It didn't help that Waluigi looked twice as scrumptious with that diaper on.

Waluigi said he didn't do it and said all he was trying to do was itch his bunzies.

"You're a bad man, Mr. Waluigi," said one of the police officers. "You may have to suffer getting a haircut on your nose."

Waluigi gasped and held his mustache. "I can't let you do that! This mustache belonged to my pet elephant Maurice!"

"Waluigi, I'll have to see your license," said the other officer. Waluigi obeyed and showed them his Cheese-spankin' license that he uses for his own two cheeks. "Okay, you're free to go, but don't be at the wrong place at the wrong time, lad."

"WAH!" said Waluigi as he took out some dynamite and blew up his jail cell to escape. The police guys gave up because Waluigi was too fast for them.

Waluigi arrived at the zoo where all the baby animals were being ugly. One of the ugly animals was a three-legged panda with eleven noses that sneezed uncontrollably. Waluigi took a picture on his cell phone and sent it to his gal Rosa. However, Rosa was being busy being shipped with Eagle Papa the Magical Beetle creator and Waluigi was a sad Wah. Waluigi took out his bow and arrow and shot a Goldeen out of the water and ate it. It evolved into Seaking in his belly and reminded him of his itchy, itchy bumbum. He cried and ran around the zoo into the baby seal exhibit.

The seals were acting really cute and looked just adorable. However, they were wearing very ugly Christmas sweaters so everyone hated them. Waluigi cried because the seals were so stupid and he hated them for their blubber. He then grabbed a Fire Flower, turned into Fire Wah (in a diaper), and pelted the roly-poly munchkins with his flames. Everyone cheered for Wah for killing the baby seals and this made him much more innocent than the Ice Climbers. He then flew away by shooting the fire out of his mouth like Godzilla.

But his bummy was still ITCHY!

"Oh-no!" cried Waluigi. "I wish I could itch my cheeses!" He then pulled out a rifle and shot down some owls because they were awake during the daytime. Waluigi needed something fast to ease his booty tingles.

Suddenly, Waluigi got hit by a plane and died.

THE END


End file.
